Boating safety advice sometimes sounds like it was drafted by a mustached codger with a clipboard and a deep disappointment in humanity.
That’s why hardy anybody reads it.
The message is usually correct, but the tone suggests that any adult who doesn’t already know these things probably wandered into boating by mistake. For newcomers, that voice would intimidate, if they read past the first paragraph, but you have to think most don’t.
In fact, they don’t get past the title, because they’d a lot rather scroll down and see what Sydney Sweeney has been up to of late or who the Bucs are most likely to draft at OLB.
Consider float plans, for example—although almost none of us do.
They sound formal, even dramatic, as though filing one somehow invites trouble. In reality, they’re about maintaining the gap between a small problem and a disaster. Boats break in inconvenient ways. Batteries die. Fuel systems clog. Props find floating debris. None of these events are rare or heroic, but they become more serious when nobody knows where you went or when you planned to return.
Leaving a float plan doesn’t require a customs declaration—it’s as simple as a text message—“Headed for Tarpon Bay, back by 6-ish” is all it takes. (Of course, if you suddenly decide to run 30 miles offshore and try a grouper reef instead of going to Tarpon Bay—and you’re out of reach of a cell tower and you break down--you’ve got a problem.)
Docking rarely gets framed as a safety issue, but many injuries happen within ten feet of a pier. New boaters don’t yet understand how much momentum even a slow-moving boat carries. Instinct tells people to fend off with hands or feet, not a good plan, nor is jumping off a moving boat onto a dock. That lesson usually arrives with a bruise or squashed fingers, sometimes a lot worse. It doesn’t have to, but only if someone explains that boats are guided into docks, not wrestled into submission. On my boat, I simply ask everybody to sit still and enjoy the moment until the boat is safely secured in the berth—though on larger boats, particularly those with flybridge or interior helm, some experienced help can be a must.
Alcohol I like a lot less on the water than I used to, definitely not for me and mostly not for my guests. Long days on the water are physically demanding in subtle ways. Sun, heat, dehydration, glare, and motion all drain attention and judgment. By the time a drink is added to the mix, the margin for error may already be thin. That reality has nothing to do with the manly virtue of holding your liquor and everything to do with physiology. You’ll make mistakes that you wouldn’t otherwise make if you drink and drive a boat, just as you would on the highway, and the penalties are very similar if you get caught. Admittedly it’s not a lot of fun to be the sober guy at the wheel when everybody else is brew-happy, but it’s both the law and the only rational way to go to make sure you arrive back safely at the docks.
And of course, if you’re driving and you’re over that .08 line, you’ve got a big problem should the Marine Patrol happen to check you out.
“Watch the weather” is more common wisdom, but sometimes new boaters don’t understand that seemingly very pleasant weather can be dangerous—a stiff breeze on a sunny day, especially one that happens to be blowing in the opposite direction of an inlet tide, can mean very dangerous water, even for a larger boat.
And calm water next to a lee shore doesn’t stay that way if you get a mile from the lee—kayakers and canoeists are particularly prone to getting into this sort of trouble. Sometimes the wind out there is so strong than inexpert paddlers can’t overcome it to get back to safety, and sometimes it simply flips them over—Michigan DNR just this week rescued two kayakers who got into this situation on Lake Huron. Water temperature was a balmy 43 degrees—the couple were very lucky to have survived.
Boating will always involve risk, and it makes sense for beginners to learn to avoid them through boating safety advice provided by states and organizations like BoatUS. But safety guidance works best when it sounds less like a scolding memo and more like advice shared quietly at the dock by someone who learned the hard way and doesn’t see any reason you should have to.
Those of us who have made all the mistakes already can most likely help those who have yet to experience them with a more collegial tone and memories of our own sometimes painful SNAFU’s and “learning experiences” afloat during this National Boating and Fishing Week, continuing through Sunday—and for all the other weeks we enjoy our lakes, streams and coastal waters.
– Frank Sargeant
Frankmako1@gmail.com